


Homeless Heartache

by Current521



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: At least I'm pretty sure, Canon Compliant, M/M, i love black friday, this has been in my drafts for so long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 12:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22969726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Current521/pseuds/Current521
Summary: General John McNamara has seen many things in his life, and he's always been prepared to die for humanity. He just didn't expect how much it would hurt.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 37





	Homeless Heartache

**Author's Note:**

> BLACK FRIDAY IS OUT

Major John McNamara was not exactly prepared for what was to happen. He had been with PEIP for eight years, knew exactly what the Black and White was, knew that Colonel Cross was risking his life. But nothing could have prepared him for this.

Colonel Wilbur Cross stepped through a portal constructed by PEIP, into the Black and White. Someone wearing his face stepped out. He was ranting, a raving lunatic, and none of what he was saying made any sense.

After that failure, Colonel Wilbur Cross was given an honourable discharge from the military and was sent to a mental institution. He was let out once, seven years later, when John was promoted to general. He was then put away again. He was not let out for his former mentee's wedding, another year later, and this, more than anything, saddened John. It saddened his husband Simon, too, but it was the way it was.

John wasn't good at taking time off, but for this, his and Simon's fifth anniversary, he had turned his phone off for the day, prepared to just spend some time at home with his husband.

They watched TV, reruns of soaps from their childhood, but they mostly talked. "It's been hard," Simon admitted, looking at John. "You're gone so often, and I never know when you come home… Or if you come home."

"I know." John took Simon's hand. "I know, and I'm sorry. But you know why I do this."

"For them." Simon made a vague gesture with his arm. "For all the people out there who deserve this moment and don't have it."

"And for you, dear. For us, and for love." John smiled and took his hand back to light a cigarette. "For this moment to keep existing."

They shared a silence, the kind that meant more than words, then both turned their attention back to the TV.

Simon was the first to notice something odd about the ad. "Isn't that… John, isn't that Colonel Cross?" He pointed at the man on the screen, singing, an obviously fake beard and mediocre acting.

"Yes." John leaned forward. "And I do believe Wilbur's nephew called him Wiley." He leaned back in the couch, forcing himself to relax. "A coincidence. It must be."

"John…"

"I said I'd keep my phone off today, dear, I stand by that." His calm was forced and he smoked a little faster, but he was determined to let Simon have that day with him.

Simon shook his head gently. "Go call. You can get something done in two phonecalls, you won't have to leave, but get it done." He grabbed his own cell and gave it to John. "Institution first. Then work."

John sent Simon a grateful smile and took the phone. He called the institution where Colonel Cross had been checked in for nigh on thirteen years, and was told that he had left the institution some months before, and had been impossible to find since. He did give them a piece of his mind about not letting him know immediately, then called his workplace and let them know he'd seen Colonel Cross, and that he had no plans to come in. Then he sank back into the couch next to Simon and smiled. "Thank you dear."

"You wouldn't have been able to relax all day if you didn't." Simon lit a cigarette. "How about that sushi takeout?"

Coming into work the day after the revelation of Colonel Cross' escape was harder than John had expected. A fair few people avoided him, or were walking on eggshells around him.

Xander Lee was not one of those people. "John! We need to find out what to do about Colonel Cross."

"I know, Xander." John walked to his desk. “I need to get to that portal.”   
“You can’t walk in there, John.” Xander tapped the report that John had found. “You know what happens.”   
“I know.” John sat down. “I don’t plan on going in. I plan on talking to that… That  _ thing _ in there. And the suits have been upgraded since Wilbur’s trip, I should be fine, but now is not the time.” He opened the report. “I need to know everything.”   
Xander shook his head, but left him be. “Your call, General.”

He only resorted to titles when he was serious, so John did hesitate for a moment. But this wasn’t something he could let go, so he went over the report, preparing to double check everything that had happened, thirteen years prior, when Colonel Cross had disappeared.

Once he’d done his research, John was ready to approach the portal and attempt to communicate. Almost. He called Simon. “Hello dear.”   
“John, hi, what’s up?” Simon, also at work, sounded slightly out of breath; he’d been running to catch the phone, John realised.

“I uhh… I have to go talk to the Black and White.” John let the silence sit for a moment. “I need to know what happened to Colonel Cross, Simon, I… I can’t leave it be. But the portal is still unstable, and we don’t know exactly what could happen.”   
Simon sighed. “John… Is this you trying to say goodbye?”   
“No.” John looked at the door to the small break room he was hiding in, behind which Xander was waiting for him. “I just wanted to say I love you. I’ll see you tonight.”   
“I love you too. I’ll wait up.” Simon’s voice had lightened.

“Thank you, dear.” John hung up, and looked at the door. Time to be a soldier.

Xander accompanied him as far as the door to the room in which the portal was constructed. “Good luck, John. Don’t die.”   
“I’ll try not to.” John stepped in.

The portal itself was… Unsettling. Not as dramatic as he’d seen in sci-fi movies, not hanging off the floor, no draught, just a void, looking like a doorway built in the middle of the room, but a void rather than an opening. And then there was the voice.

“Hello John. Have you come to be my friendy-wend?”

“No.” John stayed near the door; if the entity knew he was there, there was no reason to get too close to the portal. “I have come to ask you a question. What happened to Wilbur Cross?”

“My Uncle Wiley is helping me come visit you. I will make friendy-wends all over your country. Don’t you want to tickle my tumsy-wumsy?”

The voice had always been juvenile in its word choices, but John thought it was much worse this time. Then he remembered the ad he had seen Colonel Cross in; it was for a tickly doll, a seemingly innocuous toy. “Are you Wiggly?” he asked.

“Well done, Mr. General. I am in every doll.”

“Thanks for the chat.” John left the room and went to find Xander. “We’ve got work to do. The entity in there calls itself Wiggly. We need to look over those ads.”

By the time Black Friday rolled around, PEIP had only known about Wiggly for a few days; nowhere near enough to prepare for what was to happen. John had not yet planned what to say to the president as he was headed into the White House, but he had no choice; they needed help, and they needed it immediately, from the highest power available.

As it turned out, the president was… Not exactly useful. “It must be you,” John told him, and he just repeated, incredulous.

But he brought the president to PEIP HQ. Xander was waiting for them. “Xander Lee, theoretical physicist,” John said, by way of introduction; Xander knew exactly who the president was.

“Physicist? Is that like a scientist?” The president looked distressed.

John could hardly blame him, but he didn’t have time. “Yes. He’s also the best damn field agent I’ve ever worked with.”

“Field agent? Is that like a soldier? Sorry, I’m just really confused right now.”

So John explained to him exactly what was happening and what they needed from him, and told him about Colonel Cross and Wiggly and the dolls.

Preparations for sending the president through the portal began; this was not John’s field, so he took ten minutes to himself and headed to his desk, where Simon was waiting; in anticipation of whatever Wiggly was planning, most of PEIP had brought their close family in for Black Friday.

“Is everything okay?” Simon asked.

John shook his head and sat down next to him. “I’m afraid the president will fail, dear. But we don’t have a choice here.”

“Promise me you’ll be careful, John.”   
“I can’t—”   
“John.” Simon stared at him. “I don’t want to lose you.”   
“I’ll do my best, dear.” John got up. “I need to talk to the president. I love you.”   
“I love you too.” Simon squeezed his hand and let him go, still not looking convinced.

Once the president was sent through the portal, John and Xander were simply at their control desk, waiting for a signal. Simon was in the room with them, as was Xander’s sister, though both of them had been told not to say a word.

The negotiations with Colonel Cross went sideways, as did those with Wiggly. John looked at Xander. “I know what must be done.” He turned to walk towards the portal.

“No, John, don’t go in there!” Xander yelled after him, but couldn’t turn away from the control desk, in case the president had more to say.

“John.” Simon caught his hand as he walked by. “John, you promised.”

“I’m sorry dear.” John leaned in to kiss him. “I love you, but I have to do this. If I don’t… It might not matter at all.”

“I love you too.” Simon let go of his hand. “Be careful.”

“Goodbye Simon.” John smiled, as softly as he could manage, and then ran to the portal and jumped in. Without a suit; he didn’t have time.

He found the president and Wiggly easy enough, but he wasn't prepared to find Colonel Cross, too, although he should have been. No matter; he had to get the president out.

"What about you?" he asked, and John figured he did, at least, have some sort of rationality left.

"Without a suit, my body has already begun to dematerialise. My spirit will be absolved into the Black and White." John could feel the fear and regret pushing on, but he ignored it, and sent the president on his way.

He should hide, try to avoid the hydrogen bomb that was sure to follow, but if it was the last satisfaction he could get, he would talk to Colonel Cross.

He found him. "Wilbur?"

"Hello John." He turned and smiled. "You're too late." He was sitting on a box, no longer surrounded by the creepy creatures that had been with him earlier.

John sat next to him. "I'm not trying anymore." It wasn't entirely true, but it also wasn't a lie. "I'm going to die in here. I just want to know what happened to you."

Colonel Cross nodded. "I spoke to Wiggly thirteen years ago when I was first here. He is perfectly capable of ruining a mind, so you should be grateful that your president is still sane."

"If he ever was, sir."

"If he ever was," Colonel Cross agreed. "I left the institution last year; Wiggly contacted me and constructed a temporary portal so that I could come here. It's not the first time, but usually it was only for a few hours. I don't know why I haven't died, but I suppose that's his doing. I don't ask questions, I just work for him. He's not evil, John, he's just… He just is. He's a god."

"This is just the beginning, isn't it?" John got up from the box. "Where is the man who taught me? The man who always stood his ground, no matter the costs?"

Colonel Cross didn't answer, just gestured for John to sit back down. "I hear you got married. Tell me about her."

John sat, because there was nothing else to do. "His name is Simon. We've been married five years now." John lit a cigarette, not sure how much difference it made to his lungs, but taking comfort in the familiarity. "You met him. When I got my promotion, he was there as my boyfriend. Do you even remember?"

"No." Colonel Cross looked over his shoulder. "What's he like? What does he do?"

"Why do you care?"

That elicited a laugh. "We were friends once, John. And my job now is to wait for Wiggly to call, and yours is to wait to die, so… Might as well talk."

"You're right, sir." John sighed. "He's a chef at a local restaurant. He keeps me grounded, as much as is possible in this kind of job. I tell him everything. I know it's a breach of protocol, but since working here… I subscribe to a higher law, sir, and that is the universal truth of love and the strength of the human heart. And now… I'm glad I got to say goodbye."

Colonel Cross nodded. "Will he miss you?"

"I should hope so." John stood. "I'm glad we got to catch up, sir. I think I should like to die alone."

"Very well." Colonel Cross stood and shook John's hand. "It was good catching up. Good luck, John."

"Thank you, sir." John walked away, into the Black and White, with no destination in mind.

His body was failing, but it didn't hurt. And something about that place, he knew more and more. An insistence in the back of his head, that he needed to find an Alexandra Foster, that he needed to tell her things. Information he didn't know how he had.

He found her. She was being choked by someone evidently under Wiggly's spell, but he stepped up and tried, as best as he could, to project himself into her world, for just a moment. "You're not dead yet." She looked at him, so he kept talking. "Alexandra Foster. My name is General John McNamara, and I am going to help you through this." Or at least he hoped he was. "First, you need to subdue your assailant." He held out his gun. "I'm authorising you to use my firearm."

Alexandra — Lex — held out her hand towards him. "I can't reach it."

"Yes, you can." He kept steady, Lex needed to stay calm and it wouldn't help her to panic, but he had no idea where these pieces of information were coming from. "Your sister has a power, and so do you. Reach into the Black and White. You must manifest this weapon into your reality. Stay with me." John took a deep breath. "Look me in the eye now, Lex, and make a solemn vow to become your best self now. The time has arrived now, Lex. When your Friday's black, it's time to lead the pack. I can show you the path, but I'll need help. If Wiggly is birthed, we will all be fucked. The time has arrived; what will you do?" He waited, gun still held out, and felt it leave his hand.

The man choking Lex spoke. "I'm going to kill you." Then Lex shot him. "Where did that come from?" He didn't have time to say more, before falling aside, dead or dying.

"Nice shot Lex." John nodded appreciatively. "But we're not through yet. The leaders of your world are lost and helpless; you've been called to serve. If you can defeat Wiggly here in Hatchetfield, he can be defeated anywhere."

Lex looked up at him, clutching the gun in her hands. "What am I supposed to do?" John realised how young she was; not a day over nineteen, he'd guess, a kid.

"Gather your forces. There is a warrior of light in a deep sleep. Wake the warrior, kill the prophet, save the world. You're in PEIP now, Lex. Get her done." His concentration broke, so he never heard Lex's reply, but at least she was armed and alive and knew what she had to do. If it would be enough. John could only hope.

He wondered if his ability to manifest into his own reality had been a result of Lex's powers, or if it was something he could just do, so he gave it a try. He thought of Simon, wanting to see him, to say goodbye.

He managed to catch glimpses of Simon, in a break room at PEIP HQ, crying, and almost wished he hadn't looked, because he couldn't get through, as much as he tried, couldn't communicate, could only watch as his husband mourned his death, until he dissipated into nothing but a spirit in the Black and White. The echo of the homesickness of a soldier on duty, and the breaking heart of a husband who had sacrificed something precious.


End file.
